I can’t describe how I really feel right now….

The first thing I should ask myself is why does that bother me?

Maybe because what she says is true {half true}

But it sounded more like the generality of things rather than basing it on me individually

She made me realize the harshness of reality

But I don’t see myself in there

Why couldn’t the moment of being content with life lasts longer

I just wanted to seek comfort in the condition I am in now

When I’ve decided to do that

I already know what the consequences are….

What decisions to make

Expected all the problems that comes with it

And I just hate myself for believing what people say so easily…

I hate that I’m indecisive

Hate that I have ears that obeys

And yet you, you don’t understand

It hurts me to know that what I believe in all this while are lies

Don’t even start telling me they are not

Because we all know that what she said is actually true

Although not all of it… but it hurts me to know so

Always being the fool I am

Okay… I was upset yesterday… but it’s over

I abandoned my blog for 2 weeks!!!

Awwwww my poor baby!! xDDD

Lol~~~ I think my stomach died in office today..

I practically laughed non-stop today…..

Thanks to the 2 kaks at the reception….

They humored the life out of me…..

With their accents and crapping…..

Been really really lazy this month…

Work doesn’t suit me.. xDDDD

Can’t really think of anything to say now…

My mind is blocked and my heart is heavy…

Call me sensitive…

But the tone you gave me when you hung up

Is enough to give me a sleepless night

Have fun…..

princess and the frog calendar~

lets zoom in on dec!! hehe


the sweets i got today~~~
but they taste yucky... blek



and me!! ><

Okayy… I’m really not in the mood for any posts right now

But something in me says I should post n remember this day!!!

This has got to be the worst hair day ever!!!

Went to ikea with mom n kai jie today….

To browse stuff for our new house….

Everything was going well till aunt said she wanna cut her hair

N I got excited because I wanted to trim my fringe

When we got there, he somehow gave me the idea to cut it like kai jie’s

N it does look nice… but it’s just too short for my liking

And I wish pulling my hair will make it grow a few cm overnight

-____________- I HATE MY HAIR!!!!

It feels awful to say that…. I’ve never hated my hair before =[

Okayyy.. that’s dramatic… but it really sucks!

I think I need to go get that beanie I saw in Zara with yeobo the other day

I seriously don’t mind looking like a cancer patient right now

Uuurrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!! AWFUL!!!!!

Let’s flashback to Friday and get that smile back on my face!!

It was a pleasant evening

A very much anticipated day… [not sure if that sounds correct ><]

Hoping n praying all day that 2012 would spare 2 nice seats for us in leisure mall

Waited for that movie for a WEEK!! N still didn’t get to watch it!!

And to those who have…. Do me a favour…

Don’t mention it to me till I’ve watched it k…

*grumbles*

And it was win win’s birthday~

Went to his house just to give him his birthday present~ :P

After watching astro boy…

At least the movie gave me something good…

Okay, that’s only for me to know… ><

And I tell you~ Serdang is a maze!!!!!

I think we took at least 45 minutes driving around Serdang Lama n Serdang Baru…

To edwin’s house and then out of edwin’s house n then to ben’s house

To go out for dinper.. xDDDD [ dinner + supper?]

Ignore me, I’m crazy!!!

So yea… had some fun time~

And then rushed to eat dinper with ben,

And P had to speed all the way home cos he had to fetch me back by 1

Like Cinderella~ heehee~~

Another thing, was in the car with dad after work that day

He was fetching me home….

Then he told me about us being all cuddly and close to him

It’s okay to him cos we all follow the ‘guai lou’ style

But it’s not ok for grandma n yipo to see it…

He said: they will think ‘bloody hell, stick until so close, the parents never teach them ar?’

So the only response I could give was ‘LOL’

And then he went: LOL~~~?!?! You go LOL at your grandma n see…

And I was actually thinking what would grandma say when I LOL-ed at her… xDD

Hahah!! Funny thought….

And then dad took my fon to call his colleague..

And then he just off-ed the fon suddenly,

So I asked him why…

And he said : Can’t you see the cops in front??

And I was like O_O where??!??!

It’s cool that he can drive, talk on the fon n look out for cops…

I don’t think I could multitask when I drive next time ><

And then he said : when you’re doing something illegal.. what’s the first thing you would do?

Me: errrr… be alert??

Dad: of course!! For example, if you wanted to rob a house or steal a car,

You have to go have a look at the house…

And then plan when to break in, what you want to steal,

What kind of ‘ga chang’ you need , how to steal…

LOL!!! He’s teaching me how to break into ppl’s house n steal!!!

xDDDDDDDD cool dad!!!!! LOL~~

okay…. I think I feel much better after the flashbacks….

But I still can’t stand my hair… *cries*

I hope my hair grows an inch every night till Christmas!!!

*prays hard!!*

Hidden deep inside, are the true feelings that she wanted so much, to tell you

But instead, hurtful words and contradicting feelings is what she portrays in front of you

The truth is, she loves you more than anyone ever could, at this moment

She wanted to say I Love You, but it sounded so meaningless right now

She wants you badly, but all she ever gets is the shadow that is left behind

She wants to know what you are thinking, but she will never have the courage to ask you

She is afraid. Afraid that revealing too much to you will leave her all bare for you to see

[ while you’re always the mysterious one]

She wants to bite you, hit you, stab you, strangle you, kill you, torture you to the point where she wanted to say I Hate You but after all that she still loves you.

-miserable me-

This post is for the So Lou~

You thought I have forgotten about it rite?

As you said,

I should post it since it’s such a memorable day

So here you go~

TAAADDAAAAAA

I won’t say anything about what happened

Because I told you it’s only for the both of us…

BLEK…

3^rd of November 2009

Tuesday… 6pm

A long-awaited and memorable meeting

Just you and I

*Love n Kisses*

Remember the notes…

Remember the dates….

Never take it as a promise

N it shall never be a broken one

And never will you be disappointed

When you don’t hope =]

Okay… I don’t know what crap is that ><

Lol~ I hate working~~ =[

But I wanna earn money n at least do something useful during hols =S

That’s the explanation why my blog looks so dusty ><

Arrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh

I just hope this 2 miserable months can end faster before I could even say fast!

Okayyy…. It’s proven that I’ve gone crazy….

*merajuk n cries* T_T

It’s soooo harddddd

And I promised myself I wouldn’t rant!!!

So I shall stop!!!!

And yea… last Friday was the best Friday I’ve ever had

Lol~ cos I get to go out with yeobo~

And thanks for bringing me to sushi zanmai

And that mouth watering ice cream~~~ *yummssss~*

I don’t know how long it has been since we’ve gone out shopping together

Makes me realize I missed it soooo much

And I think I didn’t rest my mouth for the whole day…

xDDDD I went to yeobo’s house after breakfast with mom n dad

And when I reached, we couldn’t stop yapping

Till we were a bit late to mv….

That sounds scary rite?

But I got to ‘pat’ a lot of stuff from her

Heeeeheeee~ :P

I will keep it with me till I die.. xD

Neways i had a lot of fun with you yeobo….

And let’s do that again soon~

Love you~ =]

And again~ work is torturing

Been “copy-paste-send”-ing for the past week

I think I’ll go nuts…. =S

But who’s to complain when I get money.. $$$$$$

Hehe~ okay…. Now I sound so money minded =[

Just wanted to say posts will only be updated on weekends

Unless if I have anything special going on

Or I have too much free time.. [which that would be impossible]

Because I spend all my time sleeping T_T

*sigh* I need to find something better to do~

And lastly~ should I go or should I go??

Anyone would like to give me an opinion?? =S

Yeobo n me~

THE Ice Cweam~~

hehe~ me kissing yeobo~ ><

yeobo's Dslr can actually capture what i typed! O_O

and lastly, my bro~
i wonder when he knew how to pose for pictures...

Showered with love and kisses
I miss you~ So so so so much... =]
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Kiss me baby~ :P

Yesterday….

Had some kind of newfound confidence in myself

Believing that everything would be fine

And 2 months of torture wouldn’t be so bad…

I was even feeling energetic yesterday

Telling myself I have faith in me

But I don’t what know went wrong the moment I woke up this morning

It’s all gone

It’s scary how it’s gone in just a day…

What’s going to happen to me for the next 2 months then?

Just so unpredictable

N I’m stuck at square one

Worried about every move I make

I don’t know anymore

And now it’s worse…..

Feels like everything’s gone

Curi-ed this from jesmyn’s blog….

Just wanted something sweet to end this post

Hoping things return to normal soon

And that I will be fine

When a Girl is quiet,
millions of things are running in her mind.

When a Girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a Girl looks at u with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a Girl answers ' I'm fine ' ,
she is not at all fine.

When a Girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are lying.

When a Girl lays on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a Girl wants to see you everyday,
she wants to be pampered.

When a Girl says ' I love you ' ,
she means it.

When a Girl says ' I miss you ' ,
no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure you spend it with the right person

Find someone ...
Who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for that someone ...
Who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you
Who keeps telling you how lucky he is to have you.
Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '

dad was drafting how the living room should look like

and look what he wrote... lol~

Writing this because I have nothing to do?

I don’t know

Wish someone could give me the answer instead

I really really do not know what is happening to me

Been finding it hard to express myself

And I think there’s something wrong with my hormones

Don’t think they are working right

I think I’m going to be emo girl soon

-_______________-

Am I facing changes?

Or maybe I’m being reminded that I’m going to be 20 soon

No more teens in my age

Guess I’m trying to avoid being an adult

Or maybe because no one really understands…

They just blames you for the looks on your face n your tone

I think I’m born to be alone

No one can really handle me

Wish that I’m alone

Then it wouldn’t be so hard on everybody

My mind’s a mess

Many things going through my head

But when I look deeper, I find nothing

And my heart’s a chaos

It just keeps on turning without an end

Wouldn’t stop and wouldn’t end

Wish I could rip my heart open

And see what I really want….

Passing that period doesn’t mean it’s safe

Being happie doesn’t mean everything’s alright

Understanding each other isn’t the only thing

And selfishness destroys all

When will you grow up?

When will you start respecting?

When will you stop complaining?

When will you realize that you are in the wrong?

Why is it your fault every time?

Will it take a life time to understand?

Everything is soooo fxxking wrong right now

To ever use the word fxxk would represent how MAD I am now

It is tiring enough already

And to get emo all of a sudden,

I really don’t know what’s wrong with me

And to got hit on the face twice is enough to burst my pipe

As if that’s not enough…

I have to endure getting shout at from an uncivilized guy!!!

-_______________________________-

SO BLARDY MAD RITE NOW!!!!!

Was supposed to post that yesterday but I was soo mad that I couldn’t write…

And I was busy getting my eyes red and puffy… ><

Oh god… shouldn’t have cried that much last nite…

Now my eyes looked like they shrunk and my lids got injected or something like that…

Urgghh… luckily I’m not going to coll today….

I don’t even look like myself rite now… *sigh* @_@

Neways… what makes me happie is that……..

Dun dun dun dun~~~~

I got my long awaited PURPLE color COKE Glass….

Heehee~ I’ve been waiting for that thing for soooooo long

I think my neck is as long as the giraffe’s now…..

Keke….. And that mends me from yesterday’s stupid incident….

But I can’t use it… =[

Cos people wouldn’t not touch your stuff when you tell them it’s yours….

So I shall keep it as display in my new room!!! ^@^

*prays that new room will be done soon* can’t wait!! ><

Ps: Waiting for next Monday….

Exam and BASKIN ROBBINS!!!~~~

yerr... got 'can' glass.. =[

Like a mannequin trapped behind the glass of a store

You walked by and noticed me

All bare to the toes

Staring at me through the glass

While I’m trying to reach you

I can’t seem to get you to look at my eyes

Trying so hard to talk to you

But you can never hear me

Knowing that I’m trapped inside

Still hoping miracles would happen

Hmm…. I finally bought my PHONE last Friday~~~~

HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHE ^^

With the money I earned from Homedec!!!

Kekekeke…..

But dad still did sponsor quarter of it…

Cos I dun have enough money.. T_T

THANK YOU DADDIE~~~~

I will treasure it like my own baby~

*goes and sayang my fon~* xDDD

KAKAKKAKAKAKA

I’m sooooo happie~~

Had quiz on Monday~~

Scored 9/10….

I’m so proud of myself….

Getting more and more perasan…..

Feeling relieved cos everything’s done

Now have to study and wait for finals~

And then I can work and earn more money~~

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Ps: I love YOU, Yeobo, Gerina Wong and Jesmyn Tan….

=] part of my life~

Am I the demanding one?

I don’t know

But sometimes… I take a longer time to say what’s on my mind

So, please have the enough patience to wait until I am prepared to tell

How I wish I could leave this aside

But to me, things are never really solved when you don’t talk them out

I’m so indecisive…. N that’s one thing that annoys you

I will always stay the same

It feels weird to see my bloggie everyday but there are no new posts….

So…. I should explain my disappearance

Been darn busy and tired

I used to wish I have short sems….

But I don’t like them anymore….

They make me rush like hell

And my eye bags are getting worse…. @_@

First, I have to rush to finish up my assignment….

Then I have midterm….

Then I have work [HOMEDEC!!! ]

And then now I have to finalize my assignment….

Then I have to pay up my bills

Then I have to fix my ptptn loan

[ so many ‘thens’ *shrugs* ]

Short sem makes everything seems so rush

You have to rush for assignments, midterms, finals…

Everything!!!!!

Went to work from 1^st- 4^th Oct…

To earn some money for my new phone…

I didn’t expect it to be so dramatic

Feels like kids having their “I-don’t-wanna-friend-you” war

And I was dragged into it and got involved

So first day of work already gave me headache

Never felt so stressed out in my life

And worst of all is my designated job….

Usherer…. URGH….

Stood for more than 48 hours in 4 days in HEELS

I swear I’ll never wear them again… x_x

I don’t know why I’m still so clueless and vulnerable

Again… working has made me realize that I am still inexperienced

Someone said: “you’re so easy to take advantage of”

Yea…. I always trust whatever people tell me

And always realizes it a little too late

Hmm… just makes me wonder

What would happen to me when I am working for real

I think I have to prepare myself since I’m so clumsy ><

For now, I will just pray that tomorrow’s presentation will go well…

And I can settle all my documents for ptptn…

Evon

Cat

Wai yee [ lightbulb behind]

Shannon jie

Cheng yong

Baba

i like this!!

shereen jie...

brother cousin... jensen hew

Cami jie

Soo yee jie

Mei shan jie [ Fav. pic!!! ]

So lou~ xDD

P~ I love you~

And if you love me….

Please read this and do as it say…

xDDD blek…

Kidding la~ but this is sooooo true….

IF i don't call you..
it's because im waiting for you to call me.

IF i walk away from you when i'm mad...
follow me.

IF i stare at your lips...
kiss me.

IF i push you or hit you...
grab me and don't let go.

IF i start cussing at you...
kiss me and tell me you love me.

IF i keep quiet...
ask me "what's wrong?".

IF i ignore you...
give me your attention.

IF i push you away...
pull me back.

IF you see me at my worst...
tell me i'm beautiful.

IF you see me crying...
hold me and tell me everything will be alright.

IF you see me walking...
sneak up and hug my waist from behind.

IF i'm scared...
protect me.

IF i lay my head on your shoulder...
tilt my head up and kiss me.

IF i tease you...
tease me back and make me laugh.

IF i don't answer for a long time...
reassure me that everything is okay.

IF i look at you with doubts...
back yourself up.

IF i say that i like you...
i really do more than you could understand.

IF i grab your hands...
hold mine and play with my fingers.

IF i tell you a secret...
keep it safe and untold.

IF i look at you in your eyes...
don't look away until i do.

IF i miss you..
i'm hurting inside.

IF you break my heart...
the pain never really goes away.

IF i say it's over...
i still want you to be mine.

read and remember ya... :P

I HEREBY DECLARE MY LOVE FOR GERINA WONG!!!

The ‘new’ love of my life~

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Your 2 lai loves you~ keke

And will always be here for you

24/7 on call except when I’m sleeping… lol~

And I’m officially a lesbian!!! xDDD

****-##-****

Oh yea!! And I still love you yeobo~ keke

I’m such a playgirl~ *winks*

Hmmm… I went to celebrate raya yesterday!!!

I had a malay relative!!!!

Which I only see once a year,

And even if that’s the case, I still don’t visit her!! =S

Cheh!! It’s not my fault lor..

I wanna go visit her.. [to get the green paper] :P

But then usually it’s either we’re not free or we had something on

So in the end only grandma and my aunts went =[

Finally went to see her…

And her Cantonese is still “wao” xDDDD

Okay… so it was quite awkward at first

Cos we only meet each other once a year…

And I felt so embarrassed when I had to wish her “selamat hari raya” xDDD

So lousy rite?? I’m starting to doubt if I’m a true Malaysian… ><

Neways…. One funny thing I realized when we were there was

Each family wears a specific color…

That’s sweet rite??

And they have cookies and biscuits in the living room too

[I love the corn flakes cookie~~~~

Even though it’s kinda too sweet.. ><>

Wish I sneaked it home with me :P]

Not much difference compared to CNY…

And they have self service lunch too.. xDD

That’s so convenient and smart! Lol~

And they use disposable plates and cup….

So convenient~ don’t need to wash!

Just throw!! Lol~

And the house is quite packed cos ppl started coming..

So we went out to the small little garden

And we started a small tour around the garden and started taking pics of it

The little flowers are soo cute and unique

But too bad sis took the camera for her birthday and used up all the batt

So I had to take it with the phone n the picture suck!!! =[

So yea… had fun there and went to watch The Ugly Truth!!

That movie is awesome~!!!!!

But I should have watched it with P instead!!=[

Too bad he’s in Melaka….

And I miss you now.. And I hope u come home safely

And I have ‘good’ news for you!!!! :P

Soo~ ask me when u read this… blek!!

Lazy to tell anymore stories…

Wanna go eat honeydew sago!!! Yay!!!!!

*lalallalala*

the cookies~

the corn flakes that i like~~ *_*

the cute ice cream biscuit!!

looks like butterfly rite?

the hat sis bought for her birthday!!
n it's too big for me T_T

THANK YOU P!!!!!!

사랑해요!!!!!!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Keke…… me lovie you sooooo much!!!!

I am soooooo happie that you came

Even though you were VERY late…. :P

But seeing you just for a moment is enough

To make me wanna strive hard for that paper….

I’m sorrie that you have to come just for that…

But seeing you is like a MUST before I enter the exam hall….

And when I saw you rushing in,

You proved something to me… heehee

And I really wanted to cry cos you came!!!

You are like the “Good Luck” charm I need before going in.. keke

So yea….. I won’t know what to do without you…. ><

Writing this makes me wanna cry now.. T_T

Thank you soooo much P…..

왕자 ♥ 공주